This year we are continuing our tradition of taking a look back to last year’s predictions. You would think I would learn each year that making so many predictions just means I have more work to do the following year correcting them. I’m also increasing the odds I’ll be wrong.
Some people think I’m just mailing it in, that I’m not trying hard with these predictions. The hell I don’t! LISTEN, KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
I’m actually afraid to look at these.
- City of Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima will make it through the primary but will not win re-election. We have a winner, er, loser! I got this one right and it wasn’t even close.
- Having been surprised by the bi-partisan support for the proposed casino in Kenosha, Governor Scott Walker will give his approval. Surprised, etc., yes. But Walker is taking longer to decide on this than a Peter Jackson remake of Heaven’s Gate.
- There will be no change in the congressional delegation from Wisconsin in 2014. Technically I’m correct. However, it’s obvious I meant that every member of Wisconsin’s congressional district would win re-election. Will Tom Petri get a job at Trek Bicycle?
- Republicans will pick up Dale Schultz’s seat (I count it as a pick up) and the seat in Racine in the state senate. A two-fer. Of course, State Sen Chris Larson made it easy for Republicans.
- Governor Scott Walker will defeat Mary Burke. During a debate, he’ll ask her for the best places to go snowboarding in New Hampshire. I’m surprised Walker didn’t begin his victory speech, “As a boy in Iowa…”
- The general public still will not care about so-called “redistricting reform” – and Democrats don’t really care, either. Heck, I struggle to care about it, and I write about politics.
- The portable homeless shelters in Madison will be used for drugs and prostitution. I think they were just deployed. Stay tuned.
- Erick Erickson of Redstate.org will call conservative columnist Ann Coulter a RINO. Evil Mitt Romney supporter!
- The mainstream media will remember Pope Francis really is Catholic and go back to hating him. Helping President Obama to open relations with Cuba, that bastion of a free press, will probably keep Francis in the media’s good graces through 2015.
- Republicans will pick up two seats in the state assembly. Two or three. At this point, what difference does it make?
- Palermo’s Pizza will finally have a vote on unionization. The unions will lose. Not only did the unions lose, a bunch of us discovered Palermo’s makes a decent frozen pizza.
- State Rep Brett Hulsey will survive the Democratic primary, win re-election, and announce his candidacy for mayor of Madison. Hulsey will make the announcement posing naked next to “his campaign’s” convertible. Hulsey’s tweets after he lost the Democratic primary for governor were some of the best entertainment of the 2014 election cycle. Hey Democrats, you drove Hulsey out of the Assembly but you fought like hell to save Gordon Hintz?
- The state assembly will do its best this year to prove that the government that governs best will govern least. New Speaker Pro Tem Tyler August’s gavel will still have that new gavel smell in 2015. Did August even take the box out of the shrink wrap?
- Mike Gousha will ask a follow-up question that moves a politician beyond the talking points. He’ll apologize for asking the question. Um, no.
- Erick Erickson and the national Club for Growth will start a campaign for former Congressman Mark Neumann to run a primary challenge to Senator Ron Johnson. Not yet. And Chris Chocola is out at Club for Growth.
- The biggest joke of 2014 in Madison will be, “That will sound great in Green Bay, but how will it play in Des Moines?” I hear Iowa is lovely in January.
- Infighting in the Town of Waukesha will quiet down after the Spring elections. Former Town Chairman Angie Van Scyoc will not win a seat on the town board. Current Town Chairman John Marek will be seen drinking a cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts. There was a brief flare up when Joe Banske ran for the Assembly. Some grumbling about the budget.
- The MMAC’s proposal for a new Milwaukee Bucks arena and public funding for Milwaukee County public and private cultural organizations will receive no support outside Milwaukee County, effectively killing any chance of taxing the suburbs to subsidize the arena. Work will begin on a “Milwaukee-only” plan. Welcome to the jock tax.
- State Assembly Majority Leader Bill Kramer’s staff will build a periscope to spy on Assembly Speaker Robin Vos’ office. Obviously we would have been better off if the spying was directed the other way. What a disaster.
- Waukesha Mayor Jeff Scrima will still go to a Harvard Business School seminar class at taxpayer expense even though it is an election year. Somebody must have talked him out of it.
- State Rep Joel Kleefisch will introduce a bill to allow for the hunting of barn swallows. Still not legal in Wisconsin. We did have a brief debate over groundhogs.
- Milwaukee County Supervisor Marina Dmitrijevic will win the race for State Assembly on the East side of Milwaukee. She will hire herself as staff. Surprisingly, even Milwaukee’s East Side has its limits.
- Democrats will retain control of the United States Senate 52-48. Primary challenges by Tea Party-supported candidates will cost Republicans the Senate. Episode V, the Establishment Strikes Back, and sends Harry Reid into the minority.
- Peter Jackson will announce plans for his movie version of Moby Dick, completely “authentic to the novel.” It will be five three-hour films. At long last our national Hobbit nightmare is over.
- The Milwaukee School Board will vote to set a school building on fire rather than sell it to a private school. They’re using taxpayer money for kindling.
